They threw the book at me!

Apparently tomorrow is 'arrest an aardvark' day. Note to self - pack a large net, two sets of hand cuffs and a dozen or so large ripe ants.

Older...

Breaking with tradition, I'm reminiscing. Ten years ago in 1997 I was a very junior employee of a well known provider of accounting and other business services. In fact I was working on the de-mutualisation of a well known building society when Tony Blair beat John Major in the General Election. I remember seeing the results in my hotel room (as I was working away from home) and feeling disappointed, but unsurprised.

Today, a shade over ten years later, I have a fairly senior position in one of the other providers of accounting and other business services. For me times have changed...dramatically if I look at my life and standard of living.

When I watched the news this evening I realised that actually not a lot had changed. Until this morning the same few people had been doing the same top jobs for the last decade...and not necessarily very well. I genuinely don't think Britain is better - education, the health service, confidence in the government.

If anything I've seen a decline.

Random conversations in the pub

Although there was a sign saying "Ladies night - save 33 per cent on wine" I was slightly surprised when a fairly masculine chap came up to me and said "I might come in here on Friday night with a tuck under just to see if I can get the same deal"!

I hope it wasn't his way of coming on to me.

Inside leg....or short leg in cricket terms!

A new game to play on the train, following the very professional, yet entertaining, fitting for my wedding suit at Messr's Gieves and Hawkes at No.1 Savile Row! They are highly recommended.

As usual there's a points scoring system in play here, and it goes something like this if you have a keen eye:

- Slanted jacket pockets (can be a bit common these days) - 5 points
- Two-tone jacket lining (a bit like the optional extra paint on a TVR!) - 10 points
- A little hook two inches under the button hole to hold the stem of a flower (you won't have it, so don't look) - 25 points
- Suit jacket cuff buttons that actually undo - priceless (for everything else there is Mastercard)

Lawnmower man

I've reached a fairly tragic point in my life. Some would say that this has happened before, but for me, the time is now! I now am a driven man when it comes to mowing stripes in my lawn. I've got the right mower, and the right kind of lawn....and now I mean business!

I'm now wondering whether, if I mow the lawn twice in a few days in the opposite direction, I can actually get a chess board effect? Oh lord...