Technology war!

A plea to all mobile phone manufacturers - can you please programme a decent selection of sexually suggestive and down right offensive words into your predictive text engines to save me having to add them every time I upgrade my handset. I'm especially fed up of having to correct the words "ducking" and "punt".

Horsing about

I know its easy to get confused but I really thought my local pub had started giving away a pony with every pint sold. It turns out that it was just a free house and I had mis-read the sign.

Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk...

Things to do before I die - number 43

Grow a beard, buy a pair of tight white flares and borrow a video camera so that I can remake the 'Staying Alive' video originally made by that popular close harmony singing troupe 'The Bee Gees'....actually, my mother has just bought a new video camera so an embryonic plan is now hatching inside my mind.

To be continued...

You choose...

Is it just me that wonders why when people get on a train and they have a choice between the large comfy seats with arms or the small cramped ones they go for the latter?

First pint!

History has been made.....literally an hour and a half ago I pulled my first ever pint (albeit in my local). I'm pretty sure that after 16 years of solid drinking this is a result.....but the proof of the pudding will be me being allowed to do it when the pub is actually open to normal punters rather than drunk locals who are still there at 1am!!!

Is it a bird or a plane?

Amazing story in the news recently. Apparently scientists have discovered a rock that is very similar to 'kryptonite', the fictional substance in the Superman films (the headline read 'Scientists discover Kryptonite').

My hopes were slightly dashed when I read the story in full and I learned that kryptonite is a green crystal which saps the incredible superhuman powers of our fictional hero and this new found rock is a white crystal and totally harmless.

So other than those two things, the likeness is uncanny! That said I doubt it has been tested on anyone from the planet Krypton, so you never know!