Wet and wild

I was thinking of taking my 10 month old daughter swimming but I always feel odd and somehow vulnerable if I take my contact lenses and hearing aids out.

Now I'm not adverse to wearing goggles to protect my eyes but I'm not sure what to do about the hearing aids. I doubt you can buy ear goggles. A full on diving helmet would be excessive for a leisure pool with 4ft of water, and I'm not sure home made ear shower caps held on with rubber bands would look right.

Thinking of others

On most trains these days they ask you to be considerate to other passengers by keeping personal audio music and mobile phone conversations to a minimum. They don't mention farting loudly, snoring or playing tropical bongos.

Mystery solved...I think

Having given the curious case of the upturned umbrellas more thought than any grown man should, I've come to the conclusion that the only valid reason for doing it is to stop cats or dogs from getting up on the sofa and sleeping/clawing/tiddling etc.

Either that or the owner of the house stands in the dining room and tries to chip golf balls into them for fun.

Archeology

I have to say that I've always been jealous of our forebears...particularly the chap who goes by the name of H.Erectus in scientific journals. His friends just called him 'Homo'.

Big ones!

Having walked past many, many office windows on the way to work, I find myself wondering whether the number of monitors that one can clearly see displayed on their desks has a direct correlation to the bonuses they get. I'm hoping for 'inverse proportions' myself! Just like the bonnet's of the car's they own.

Actually, the number of monitors on your desk has somehow become a status symbol for city types but I think it just means you are last in Gods great chain.....clearly you are the one having to do the work!