Safety first

You never see signs that say "in case of an emergency it is usually safest to cower in a corner". Pity, as that's generally where I would be.

Greener environment?

I read with horror today that a number of goats had recently died on a new wind farm in Taiwan. Apparently, the noise of the turbines stopped the goats from sleeping and one by one they died from exhaustion.

Wherever there's a problem, there's got to be a solution and given how many wind farms are due to built over the next 30 years, I think there might be a big market for animal ear defenders.

They could come in a variety of colours and sizes to fit all of God's creatures. It's even possible that well known designers and fashion gurus would do their own slant on the idea.

But one thing is for sure. They'd be too cool for cats.

Thick as a plank

A recent poll for a travel website suggested that unbelievably one in ten of the population wouldn't recognise a sheep. Presumably these are the same people I encounter on the tube who haven't been able to identify deodorant.

Dog eat dog world

Having spent the morning in Accident & Emergency because my daughter woke up rather poorly, I was a little shocked by the attitude of both me and my wife. It was clear that when we arrived, we mentally checked out everyone in the waiting room (and indeed did the same to people coming in whilst we were there) to determine whether they were more ill than our daughter.....in a vain attempt to establish in which order we would get to see a doctor.

I didn't have much sympathy for the girl who had obviously sprained her ankle whilst drunk the previous evening, or the fat bloke who had problems with his knees. However, the young lad with one eye swollen to the size of a balloon and the woman coughing up her insides were probably slightly more needy than us.

Thankfully, all was well and we are now back at home as a family!

Wind power

I read last week that feeding fish oil to livestock reduces their flatulence and therefore the amount of greenhouse gases they release into the atmosphere. Given how many cows are on the planet it strikes me that governments should be tackling this problem rather than creating policies to pillage the poor motorist.

The final frontier

Unanswered question - number 72

Do space rental companies also sell galaxies?

More Mr Competitive

It struck me the other day that whilst Mr Competitive does everything in his power to get in front of other people, he's missed one golden opportunity. He doesn't get onto the train on the first carriage, he gets on the third carriage instead (which then puts him behind other people when we alight from the train).

The only conclusion I can draw from this is that if the train was involved in a head on collision, then his chances of survival would be better further down the train. Presumably the third carriage represents the best balance (in his warped mind) between being first and being safe.

I reckon he's scared. He doesn't want to die. Which is ironic, because that's exactly what I wish for him.