An Englishman's castle...

I've just built a house out of a giant book. It just goes to prove there really is no place like tome!

Tax doesn't have to be taxing...

Things more enjoyable than completing your tax return:

- beating your tongue wafer thin with a meat tenderiser
- french kissing a skunk
- death by firing squad for a crime you didn't commit

Economies of scale

No wonder rail fares are on the rise. My local station now has two people posted on the doors to the platform to check tickets, and then there's another person who checks them on the train itself. Three salaries when installing a ticket barrier would probably do the trick.

Still at least they're doing their bit to keep unemployment down!

Sign of the times

Signs you never see - number 11

"Tea leaves operate in this area" in large letters in a staff canteen.

These boots were made for walking

I'm all in favour of the disabled and those with small children to have the benefit of using a lift to get down to underground platforms....but I'm not sure that I agree with people who need to go on a diet using them too. Walking down the stairs might be a healthier option.

Dedicated follower of fashion

Men with small feet look silly, as do short fat men who wear long pointy shoes.

Both of these however pail into insignificance compared to men who wear what look like black leather work shoes, but on closer inspection have velcro fasteners like trainers from the 1980's. This is just plain wrong, although not as wrong as brown shoes with a black suit.